Thursday, April 24, 2008

Moral Meat Eating

Why is it considered so bad to eat meat, health concerns aside?

Do people consider it cruel? Welcome to my world, a rather cruel one. That'll be a $50 entrance fee by the way. Animals die everyday because of the forests you clear to grow your soybeans. The plants make themselves food, the animals eat the food, and we eat the animals. We should consider ourselves lucky to be at the top of the food pyramid. I wouldn't want to be a cow in another world. My world is also a Darwinist one, among other things, and it's survival of the fittest, and as the fattest, I say we deserve to eat meat. In fact, it was eating meat that allowed us to first develop our abnormally large heads and meet that sometimes annoying speaker named Jiminy Cricket that says killing animals is bad.

Are you not being cruel to plants? Just because plants don't have that bundle of neurons that some of us know as a brain doesn't mean they're not sensitive to pain. When you continuously clip a plant, does it not grow in the other direction? Does its crunchy cry of death not make you think twice about eating it? The plants are still photosynthesizing when you mercilessly pull them by their roots out of the ground. Do weeds, as annoying as they are, not deserve to live among side your precious vegetables? This is a case of irrationality and human bias. Because plants are not warm and fuzzy and do not look cute, people do not have qualms about killing them.

So we have animal farms that take productivity a little too far. What about your plant farms? I'm sure plants don't like it when they're jammed together side by side in neat little rows and genetically modified and then sprayed with chemicals. Nor do they like roasting inside one of your greenhouses. When they're all nice and fattened, a big machine comes and violently rakes them out of the ground, after which they're sent to big factories where they're sliced and diced and made into chop suey.

If we didn't eat the animals, then they would multiply unchecked and upset the natural balance of things. Imagine all that bovine feces and flatulence we would have to face if cows were allowed to run rampant. Then they would eat all your plants and then where would you be? Resist the temptation ... resist it ... hah! Guess you're just going have to learn how to chug down some bloody protein.

So all you vegans out there: shut up about animal cruelty and go find some piece of green in the dirt to chew on. More meat for the rest of us.

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3 comments:

Christine said...

i was going to say that this proof had to do with ethics, and what do you know? that's one of your labels. i think it's just because plants don't have feelings. this isn't black and white, and when you put the two together...you have to pick SOMETHING that doesn't hurt you too much to kill. so i guess it's plants >_>
lame argument. but okay.

and no copy editing this time because i read it really fast and i need to read your r+j paragraph.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like it makes so much sense when you write it like that. O:

Anonymous said...

Plants do have feelings... Heck, even Joey's pet rocks have feelings too.