Thursday, April 17, 2008

Communist Chinese School

I've always had this suspicion deep down inside, and now I know I'm right. My Chinese school is Communist.

My Chinese school is part of a larger organization that claims to help the world and save the needy.

Everyone is equal, so they say, and every one is part of the school, even if they don't want to be. So, they stick us all in collared shirts, and with the coming of next year, uniform pants, just like their uniform loving Communist cousins Asia, to say that we all belong and that we're equal. Whatever happened to free will? Furthermore, don't they know that there are needy people in the world without clothes? We already have clothes, and these stupid monogrammed uniforms could be used to clothe little children.

They also have culture classes such as how to host tea parties, attempting to keep their culture alive in a world where everyone is trying to assimilate into one big melting pot. Now the "traditional" in China is whatever the dramas are doing. They also require us to perform childish songs. The most disgusting part of it all is when those retarded "aunts" and "uncles" put on manufactured smiles and treat high schoolers like little kids. If we don't do what they want, they try cajoling us with candy and sweet smiles. Then they pretend to get mad and frown and place their hands on their hips. Ooh, I'm scared.

Then they have the infamous reeducation classes, where they torture us to death via boredom. In these classes, they attempt to reeducate us on things that we already know, among them what to do during a fire and about global warming. The scary thing was that when teaching us about fires they had to read from a book, nor did they actual organize any fire drills. During these classes, they also showed us self-aggrandizing videos of themselves helping the unfortunate. A classic example of conceited Communist propaganda.

If you have ever seen a Communist parade, you will notice flags everywhere. Likewise, my Chinese school does the same, and speaking of parades, also like to host large performances to display their freak talent shows. Last year, I had the misfortune to perform with their half-arsed symphony orchestra. The ensemble stank, because everyone who could play a violin half decently was also smart enough to do something else, and there is no such thing as a symphony without percussion, the only reasons why band might sound better than an orchestra. To add to my indignities, the conductor gave the melody to the second violins and sings along, even during the performance! I knew I shouldn't have joined, and I regret letting my mother cajole me into joining. The year prior, the teacher, who was the father of my violin teacher, suddenly disappeared during the middle of the year to go visit Taiwan. Can't blame him, not that it mattered. With three violins and a cello, we weren't going to get much done anyways. This year, when my teacher asked me to join, I had to yell, "No, no, no, and No!" The last I checked, the music was only about three lines long.

Then, they have their hypocrisy, without which no Communist state would truly be Communist. They once gave a lecture on recycling and reducing, as if we didn't know them. The instructor was saying not to buy bottled water and instead buy a reusable bottle. But behind him, you could see several dozen cases of bottled water, stacked from floor to ceiling. Another time, they were telling us how unfortunate people were in some unfortunate Asian country had to write with little plastic pencil tips while they gave out pens for answering their stupid questions.

After that, they have their inefficiency. Just like all those workers would gladly build some statue for the Motherland, we have a bunch of old men with nothing better to do than volunteer at the school. I suppose it's a good thing to volunteer, so I respect that, but what do they do? They put four people to man one crosswalk. I remember quite clearly that you only need one person for one crosswalk. I believe that's three people less that could have been picking up trash to make our world a better place. Then they have student volunteers. These people sit in their custom volunteer sweaters (a waste of money) and are only found running errands and ringing bells. In their free time, they sit around and talk instead of fulfilling the school's mission statement.

The food is disgusting. One time, for that afor mentioned "orchestra", if it can be called that, I had to stay afterschool for a "rehearsal". So we had to bring our own bowl and fork and cup over to the house that the school owned on the other side of the street. The place was like land of the giants. Everything was oversized, from the sinks to the pans to the containers. Their spaghetti was too acidic and the veggies soggy. The scrambled eggs were sweet!!! Who in the world puts sugar into scrambled eggs! I'm pretty sure its not a Chinese dish. Later, after taking a look around, I saw a stack of empty cans about a foot in diameter. They read "Spaghetti Sauce" and "Chop Suey". So our food came from these huge cans. I immediately felt sick, but everyone around me was happily chowing away at their gruel. Oh yea, there was plenty soy but no meat, and they were using Mexicans as chefs.

And that's all I have to say about this Red organization that is somehow still open in the middle of the United States of America in which President Truman declared that the US would fight Communism everywhere in the world. Well, it's happening in our own back yard, and I would call the Department of Homeland Security, but I don't have their phone number. I can see how people as evil as the fascists would also hate Communism. That's one thing Hitler got right.

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Korn said...

Your school has the right to do this. Due to a recent law passed during Gray Davis's term, schools only have to follow the US constitution and the bill of rights. This was added to one of the california board of education codes. I forgot which one, but it is somewhere on the website. I am not a big fan of Mr. Davis. I am a big fan, however, of your blog. Nice one, buddy. YOU GO GIRL!

Korny said...

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Korny said...

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Moufflets said...

First of all, to Korn, I would like to establish that I am a male member of the human species.

Second, to Korny, as acting Division Commander General Tony McAuliffe once said at Bastogne, "Aw, nuts!" Until further proof of this property claim by this alleged KORN Inc., I must respectfully decline to provide my personal information. Furthermore, the Moufflets logo is the property of

Third of all, also addressed to Korny, forgive me if I am wrong, but I cannot seem to find the California Civil Code you mentioned. I visited

Anonymous said...



soybeans ftw said...

mm. didn't read it all. you're expounding on too much.

"and I regret letting my mother cajol me into joinging."